Notes from Confronting Racism in
Conversation
July 22nd and August
12th
Talkin’ about Talkin’
– Why is it hard? What does a successful conversation look like? Talkin’
Tactics – Active listening.
What makes it hard?
--Afraid of offending people
--Power dynamics
--I get stressed out
--Being the kill joy
--Being the “angry, black, brown etc. person”
--People getting defensive
--Different set of references for different people
--Being to “politically correct”
--Not having the energy to engage in the conversation
--Get written off because of queerness
-Getting really emotional
Some Tactics
--Read bell hooks
--Recognize intentions
--Build relationship if applicable
--Have internal process, collect thoughts and come back to
conversation if possible
--Meridian tapping – to bring your emotions down
--Get in touch with your body so you can know what emotions
you are feeling to try to have more control over your response.
--Take space
--Educate yourself so you can present history and facts
--Out yourself as a racist –“wow I used to think like that
and someone told me or I realized I was…”
--Strength in numbers.
White People (WP)
Break out group – Answering the question of What do you as white people
struggle with pertaining to racism? What are some solutions?
Struggles –
--White Guilt – Keeps me down –Is paralyzing
--Anxiety
--Judging other white people. Hating other white people.
--How to Navigate Privilege –So you may have access to
resources do you take them?
--You care about gentrification and don’t want to
participate but where do you live?
--WP get caught up in proving to each other how not racist
they are – all talk and no walk - - who I am as opposed to what I do
--What are my or others intentions – do they or I act so
they don’t seem racist to be a “good person” or are we motivated because we
really care.
--It’s hard talking to WP who think that they got it and are
not racist while there actions are very paternalistic or savior complexy
--Not having access to my Herstory. I am told I am descendants
of all these different ethnicities but it doesn’t translate into my every day
life.
--Cultural Appropriation vs. cultural appreciation –
usurping native spirituality. White suburbanites appropriating hiphop.
--People use different vocabularies and definitions
--Why do I not want to make the situation uncomfortable? Am
I afraid to give up privilege?
Strategies for
solutions
--Commit to a life long struggle of fighting racism
--You will make mistakes – see mistakes as opportunities –
--Trust yourself
--Engage in study groups
--Educate yourself
--Stop thinking of white as the norm
--“Own” your history
--Study your family history if you have access to it
--Align yourself with lawyers
--Support organizations that are addressing racial injustice
– financially or physically
People of Color (POC)
Break Out Group - Answering the question
of What do you as people of color struggle with pertaining to racism? What are
some solutions?
--WP’s dropping the ball. Not calling shit out. Perpetuating
shit. Acting like their shit don’t stink.
--Being othered like “I’m angry and upset”
--Being told I need to verify my story. WP needing more
details to verify my story.
--Fetishizing/Exoticizing
--Being expected to represent all POC/race
--WP explaining my culture to me/authenticating me
--Tokenizing/Universalizing/Treating POC like currency “my
black friend/gay friend/etc”
--Trying to connect but still not getting it.
--Complimenting me by deprecating themselves/making it about
them/making it a competition. (Your hair looks so beautiful. My hair is shit)
--Putting POC’s in position of savior and mammy
--WP trying to save POC
--Forcing POC to explain themselves to WP if you don’t fit
their narrative
--“Colorblindness”
--When WP treats racism as exceptional “ These must be crazy
white people. OMG that is so fucked up!
I have never seen anything like this”
--Pretending to be anti-racist to look cool. WP not walking
the walk. Forgiving racism because of kin.
-- Acting like POC have to be there.
Strategies for
Solutions
--WP listening
--WP demonstrating that they’re trustworthy w/o wanting a
gold medal
--WP proactively responding to racism. Not relying POC to
speak up for you AND speak up in a timely manner
--Keep in mind that it’s risky and necessary to speak up
--POC being open to conversations among ourselves for
ourselves
--POC not having to authenticate realness or downess
--POC working on internalized racism. How internalized
racism separates us from POC
--Everyone working on building healthy relationships
--WP don’t expect to be accepted in POC space. Don’t feel entitled
to POC energy, space, words, and time.
Showing up is a start but not enough.
--Supporting each other’s mental and emotional health.
Feeding and nurturing ourselves.
--Filling our vessels. This work needs our vessels to be
filled. We can’t do it with half full vessels.
Report Back after
SOLID HOUR OF ROLE PLAY!! Tactics and thoughts -
--Still gotta long way to go
--Personalized response effective “I used to do that”
--Using facts – statistics – historical examples
--Recognizing persons humanity
--Connecting to their personal experience “oh you are having
trouble getting a job…”
--LISTENING
--ASK THEM CLARIFYING QUESTIONS
-- Different words mean different things to different people
--HUMOR
Evaluation from
August 12th
People liked:
--Scenarios that we role played (we’re puttin them on the
web)
--Group size from big to small and big to small
--Playing different roles in the role plays
--Journaling
--Pace was good
--Caucusing or break out groups (WP and POC)
--Assumptions at the beginning
--1 solid hour of role-play!!
--Good amount of time
What could be better
and other suggestions:
--More time in caucuses or break out groups
--Could have done more role playing
--More solution oriented
--Put more stuff on blog – scenarios – why white people work
on this.
--3 hours was good length
--Let’s do it every month!
Insights
--Want strategy session on what to do more!!
--Work on witty comebacks
--Role-plays with strangers..
--Learn more!
--Share different strategies and apply them to different
relationships and timing. Ten minutes with stranger or 2 months with your mom?
--Learn from comedians! HUMOR!
Resources
