Report Back from 3rd Practice Salon

Notes from Confronting Racism in Conversation

July 22^nd and August 12^th

Talkin’ about Talkin’ – Why is it hard? What does a successful conversation look like? Talkin’ Tactics – Active listening.

What makes it hard?

--Afraid of offending people

--Power dynamics

--I get stressed out

--Being the kill joy

--Being the “angry, black, brown etc. person”

--People getting defensive

--Different set of references for different people

--Being to “politically correct”

--Not having the energy to engage in the conversation

--Get written off because of queerness

-Getting really emotional

Some Tactics

--Read bell hooks

--Recognize intentions

--Build relationship if applicable

--Have internal process, collect thoughts and come back to conversation if possible

--Meridian tapping – to bring your emotions down

--Get in touch with your body so you can know what emotions you are feeling to try to have more control over your response.

--Take space

--Educate yourself so you can present history and facts

--Out yourself as a racist –“wow I used to think like that and someone told me or I realized I was…”

--Strength in numbers.

White People (WP) Break out group – Answering the question of What do you as white people struggle with pertaining to racism? What are some solutions?

Struggles –

--White Guilt – Keeps me down –Is paralyzing

--Anxiety

--Judging other white people. Hating other white people.

--How to Navigate Privilege –So you may have access to resources do you take them?

--You care about gentrification and don’t want to participate but where do you live?

--WP get caught up in proving to each other how not racist they are – all talk and no walk - - who I am as opposed to what I do

--What are my or others intentions – do they or I act so they don’t seem racist to be a “good person” or are we motivated because we really care.

--It’s hard talking to WP who think that they got it and are not racist while there actions are very paternalistic or savior complexy

--Not having access to my Herstory. I am told I am descendants of all these different ethnicities but it doesn’t translate into my every day life.

--Cultural Appropriation vs. cultural appreciation – usurping native spirituality. White suburbanites appropriating hiphop.

--People use different vocabularies and definitions

--Why do I not want to make the situation uncomfortable? Am I afraid to give up privilege?

Strategies for solutions

--Commit to a life long struggle of fighting racism

--You will make mistakes – see mistakes as opportunities –

--Trust yourself

--Engage in study groups

--Educate yourself

--Stop thinking of white as the norm

--“Own” your history

--Study your family history if you have access to it

--Align yourself with lawyers

--Support organizations that are addressing racial injustice – financially or physically

People of Color (POC) Break Out Group -  Answering the question of What do you as people of color struggle with pertaining to racism? What are some solutions?

--WP’s dropping the ball. Not calling shit out. Perpetuating shit. Acting like their shit don’t stink.

--Being othered like “I’m angry and upset”

--Being told I need to verify my story. WP needing more details to verify my story.

--Fetishizing/Exoticizing

--Being expected to represent all POC/race

--WP explaining my culture to me/authenticating me

--Tokenizing/Universalizing/Treating POC like currency “my black friend/gay friend/etc”

--Trying to connect but still not getting it.

--Complimenting me by deprecating themselves/making it about them/making it a competition. (Your hair looks so beautiful. My hair is shit)

--Putting POC’s in position of savior and mammy

--WP trying to save POC

--Forcing POC to explain themselves to WP if you don’t fit their narrative

--“Colorblindness”

--When WP treats racism as exceptional “ These must be crazy white people.  OMG that is so fucked up! I have never seen anything like this”

--Pretending to be anti-racist to look cool. WP not walking the walk. Forgiving racism because of kin.

-- Acting like POC have to be there.

Strategies for Solutions

--WP listening

--WP demonstrating that they’re trustworthy w/o wanting a gold medal

--WP proactively responding to racism. Not relying POC to speak up for you AND speak up in a timely manner

--Keep in mind that it’s risky and necessary to speak up

--POC being open to conversations among ourselves for ourselves

--POC not having to authenticate realness or downess

--POC working on internalized racism. How internalized racism separates us from POC

--Everyone working on building healthy relationships

--WP don’t expect to be accepted in POC space. Don’t feel entitled to POC energy, space, words, and time.  Showing up is a start but not enough.

--Supporting each other’s mental and emotional health. Feeding and nurturing ourselves.

--Filling our vessels. This work needs our vessels to be filled. We can’t do it with half full vessels.

Report Back after SOLID HOUR OF ROLE PLAY!! Tactics and thoughts -

--Still gotta long way to go

--Personalized response effective “I used to do that”

--Using facts – statistics – historical examples

--Recognizing persons humanity

--Connecting to their personal experience “oh you are having trouble getting a job…”

--LISTENING

--ASK THEM CLARIFYING QUESTIONS

-- Different words mean different things to different people

--HUMOR

Evaluation from August 12^th

People liked:

--Scenarios that we role played (we’re puttin them on the web)

--Group size from big to small and big to small

--Playing different roles in the role plays

--Journaling

--Pace was good

--Caucusing or break out groups (WP and POC)

--Assumptions at the beginning

--1 solid hour of role-play!!

--Good amount of time

What could be better and other suggestions:

--More time in caucuses or break out groups

--Could have done more role playing

--More solution oriented

--Put more stuff on blog – scenarios – why white people work on this.

--3 hours was good length

--Let’s do it every month!

Insights

--Want strategy session on what to do more!!

--Work on witty comebacks

--Role-plays with strangers..

--Learn more!

--Share different strategies and apply them to different relationships and timing. Ten minutes with stranger or 2 months with your mom?

--Learn from comedians! HUMOR!

Resources

-How to be Black by Baratunde Thurston a book and the link also connects to Totally Biased a TV show.

--YO is this racist?  And On twitter